All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
