called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
