i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
