what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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