So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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