I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You're a waste of cheezeits
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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