Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
