There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
