god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize