Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
