I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
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I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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