At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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