Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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