A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
