This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dicks are not precious.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
