Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Its about making memories worth repressing
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
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