The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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