Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
