Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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