Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
