Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
