i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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