haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
