she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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