He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Life is so much better after having sex.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
