my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
