Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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