Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
