We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
