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  • Is it odd that I'm more concerned with the fact that this is one of the few nearly-grammatically correct texts I've seen on this site? I'm impressed. I mean, the situation sucks, and I feel for the guy, but damn! I mean, after seeing so many shitty texts (about 95% of the ones here), it's a bit refreshing. A note to everyone who uses text messaging, instant messaging, or any other such service; step that shit up. :/

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 8:19pm
    • Actually, you have no idea what you are talking about. You don't need the semi-colon in the last sentence.

      Submitted by supremecourt on Dec 4, 10 at 3:55pm
  • Should of paid her for the full hour!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:39pm
  • Hey 720...Jesus loves you....the rest of us think you're an asshole!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:26pm
  • That's sucks. I wouldn't have told this story to anyone.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:09pm
  • You need to get way better, man.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 9:12pm
  • This isn't even funny. It's just pitiful.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:16pm
  • WOW. Just how small is ur dick and how bad orca kisser are u?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:37pm
  • Dude, did you just say "genitalia"? :-/

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 7, 09 at 2:11pm
  • Why are there so many thumbs down on this one?!?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 9:28am
  • Untrue 8:30, I fuck guys that are grammatically correct. Nothing says sex like proper syntax .

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 12:32am
  • 9:42 was that Mr. Burns? Bah! bah! bah! bah... Bah.....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 11:27pm
  • You obviously fucked it up somehow. :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 9:13pm
  • maybe she just wasn't a fan of sleeping in bunk beds

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 2:30am
  • i had a chick pull that shit with me then tried to get back in my bed to "cuddle" i was like HA yea fuckin right

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 8, 09 at 1:45pm
  • thats just...damn. terrible.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:14pm
  • Way to fail at spelling grammatically. But I'm pretty sure the text (if it was actually sent) was not sent with proper grammar as it appears on the site.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 8:33pm
  • why is everyone so concerned with grammar on here... almost all of the texts on here are from when people are drunk

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 8, 09 at 5:12pm
  • So what? Smart girl!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 11:52pm
  • 8:30 Please stop trying to speak on behalf of all women. You fail at representing us lol. Shorthand is fine, but not all the time. It might make her wonder if you are capeable of formulating a coherent thought without butchering a word to a Pre-K level.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 8:32am
  • Jesus saves 1 corinthians 6:9-11

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:20pm
  • Haha I know this guy, the girl was susan wasn't it

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:01pm
  • everyone already said it

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 10:05pm
  • Now just wait a minute...maybe there was a reason she didn't want to explain. Maybe she was having her period. In which case you should be VERY thankful you didn't find out the hard way. GROSS! Theres always another night for hooking up, but that would scar you for life.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:52pm
  • 

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 12:13pm
  • The semi-colon is correct, actually. I'm an English major.

    Submitted by pizzagirl2011 on Apr 12, 11 at 11:57pm
  • 9:42 probably didn't happen to u if ur saying "hooked up all the way" what are u 14???

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 7, 09 at 6:15am
  • i locked a guy out once when he went to get a condom

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 8, 09 at 5:12pm
  • 7:53-- it's u or you. Not fucking yu. Dumbass. -.-

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 9:18am
  • Ya, I hate doing short hand. It pisses me off, I always use proper grammar.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 3:09am
  • My penis must be bigger than yours

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 12:02am
  • I mean at least she is honest. That's a plus..right?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 8:32pm
  • Sorry for that man. But that's why there is a beautifle thing called a strip club

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:40pm
  • Jedi mind trick? Ha.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 9:20am
  • Shit ain't cool brah

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 11:41pm
  • fuckin owneddddddddd

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:45pm
  • Your fault for not getting her drunk enough that she realized what a mistake she was making. Let that be a lesson to you: one more shot!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 8:29pm
  • She poop!

    Submitted by lambright on Aug 26, 11 at 6:12pm
  • Lol dude musta had no game. Or no dick. Either or both seem logical

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 12, 10 at 4:26am
  • This one never gets old.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 29, 09 at 9:35am
  • Uh no he probably typed the text with an iPhone. It's hard to do short messging with auto correction on that punctuates and spell checks everything

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 2:18am
  • I use proper spelling and grammar in every text message I send. It's not just because I have an iPhone either. I did when I had a LG enV2 as well.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 2:58am
  • You should of jerked it and came on her while she was getting dressed

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 11:42pm
  • Auto correct can be turned off on iPhone chump dog choker

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 8:29am
  • 12:32 is funnier than this text which just makes me feel bad for the guy. What a shame. But as is the case with many of these texts, I wish I knew more about the situation before passing my arbitrary judgment.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 1:01am
  • Watch some porn or something and learn how to fuck. Then maybe girls won't wanna go take a piss/shit/vomit break mid fuck with you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 2:55am
    • Yes, watching porn is the best way of learning something about sex. Because all you see on TV is real... idiot!

      Submitted by g2x on Feb 27, 13 at 8:08am
  • ppl need to SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT 'FML POSTS'. thanks.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 11:08pm
  • Smack the bitch on her way out.

    Submitted by marsho on Jul 12, 10 at 12:39am
  • this just happened to me on tuesday... except no one left... and we hooked up all the way... and for the whole nite... ok so maybe it didnt happen at all...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 9:42pm
  • 9:28 There are thumbs down because it's a bad night. Thumbs up means good night, not that it's amusing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 4:38pm
  • L\n\n\n\n\nL

    Submitted by 0717Cole on Oct 26, 11 at 5:07pm
  • Cuse Nation! I'm sure he's not the the first...but girls up there are easy, especially the jewish ones...they LOVED my big gentile genitalia! -HIGHguy

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 7, 09 at 11:16am
  • 2:55 Because porn is soooo realistic. Great advice, Dr. Phil!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 8:01am
  • 7:29 Maby he waz a part of a txt

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:34pm
  • OMFG!!!! Happened to my friend last weekend lolz

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:18pm
  • Daaaaaamnn , sucks fo yo asss . Yu prolly had a small one .

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:53pm
  • No she wasn't 7:10 or the OP or urself would not have been trying to fuck her. Ur a loser.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:40pm
  • That is more of an fml post.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:44pm
  • Aww poor guy :( -Will

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 2:49am
  • hahaha what a loser.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 9:19pm
  • what kind of sick bastard would thumbs up this? a man was denied of getting jiggy with it and you think thats a good thing?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 9:30pm
  • Being gramattically correct in text msg's defeats the purpose. It is called SMS (short messaging service) for a reason. Keep It short! Fuck grammar just get the messege out -aus

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 8:31pm
  • Wrong 8:30. Girls don't want to fuck guys that talk like 13 year old girls on msn.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 11, 09 at 6:33am
  • OMFG!!!!.... I'm sorry for that

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:25pm
  • She probably just got called up to be on jeopardy and had to leave for LA

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 9:33am
  • maybe she had diarheaa

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:32pm
  • 

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 12:20pm
  • dam you must be ugly

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 10:48pm
  • She was trying to get outta there cause the sex was bad....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 7, 09 at 7:16am
  • Oh, that makes sense. Thanks 4:36

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 8:26pm
  • She later admitted she left because she had to take a dump

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 7, 09 at 9:47am
  • This has decent grammar and shit bc the OP prob wanted to get it onto FML. And obviously didn't. Poor fucker.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 9:34am
  • That really is hilarious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:47pm
  • Well, at least she was honest the second time around.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 8, 09 at 1:18am
  • Yeah I agree, this is more of an fml post.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 11:00pm
  • Jewish girls can't handle big dicks. Trust me.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 11:55pm
  • Girls don't fuck guys that are always gramatically correct. Take the OP as an example.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 8:30pm