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  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 8:19pm

    Is it odd that I'm more concerned with the fact that this is one of the few nearly-grammatically correct texts I've seen on this site? I'm impressed. I mean, the situation sucks, and I feel for the guy, but damn! I mean, after seeing so many shitty texts (about 95% of the ones here), it's a bit refreshing. A note to everyone who uses text messaging, instant messaging, or any other such service; step that shit up. :/

    • 74 65
      Submitted by supremecourt on Dec 4, 10 at 3:55pm

      Actually, you have no idea what you are talking about. You don't need the semi-colon in the last sentence.

      • 51 43
        Submitted by Grabbaggers on Jul 4, 11 at 11:21pm

        Actually there isn't a semi-colon in the last sentence.

        • 51 45
          Submitted by kaylaker24 on Sep 16, 11 at 3:44am

          YES THERE IS IT'S RIGHT THERE

          • 38 24
            Submitted by g2x on Feb 27, 13 at 8:05am

            ; <- this is a semi-colon. I see a colon though, but not in the text... ;)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:26pm

    Hey 720...Jesus loves you....the rest of us think you're an asshole!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:09pm

    That's sucks. I wouldn't have told this story to anyone.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:39pm

    Should of paid her for the full hour!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:16pm

    This isn't even funny. It's just pitiful.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 12:32am

    Untrue 8:30, I fuck guys that are grammatically correct. Nothing says sex like proper syntax .

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 9:12pm

    You need to get way better, man.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:37pm

    WOW. Just how small is ur dick and how bad orca kisser are u?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 11:42pm

    You should of jerked it and came on her while she was getting dressed

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:01pm

    Haha I know this guy, the girl was susan wasn't it

    • 47 40
      Submitted by camper on May 4, 12 at 5:59pm

      Don't think so, but I can't remember her name

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 8:32am

    8:30 Please stop trying to speak on behalf of all women. You fail at representing us lol. Shorthand is fine, but not all the time. It might make her wonder if you are capeable of formulating a coherent thought without butchering a word to a Pre-K level.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:14pm

    thats just...damn. terrible.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 8:33pm

    Way to fail at spelling grammatically. But I'm pretty sure the text (if it was actually sent) was not sent with proper grammar as it appears on the site.

  • 96 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 7, 09 at 6:15am

    9:42 probably didn't happen to u if ur saying "hooked up all the way" what are u 14???

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 2:55am

    Watch some porn or something and learn how to fuck. Then maybe girls won't wanna go take a piss/shit/vomit break mid fuck with you.

    • 36 20
      Submitted by g2x on Feb 27, 13 at 8:08am

      Yes, watching porn is the best way of learning something about sex. Because all you see on TV is real... idiot!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 9:13pm

    You obviously fucked it up somehow. :)

  • 92 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 7, 09 at 2:11pm

    Dude, did you just say "genitalia"? :-/

  • 88 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 9:28am

    Why are there so many thumbs down on this one?!?

  • 93 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:44pm

    That is more of an fml post.

  • 91 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 8, 09 at 5:12pm

    i locked a guy out once when he went to get a condom

  • 88 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 8, 09 at 5:12pm

    why is everyone so concerned with grammar on here... almost all of the texts on here are from when people are drunk

  • 87 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 8, 09 at 1:45pm

    i had a chick pull that shit with me then tried to get back in my bed to "cuddle" i was like HA yea fuckin right

  • 98 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:53pm

    Daaaaaamnn , sucks fo yo asss . Yu prolly had a small one .

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:20pm

    Jesus saves 1 corinthians 6:9-11

  • 92 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 7, 09 at 11:16am

    Cuse Nation! I'm sure he's not the the first...but girls up there are easy, especially the jewish ones...they LOVED my big gentile genitalia! -HIGHguy

  • 94 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 1:01am

    12:32 is funnier than this text which just makes me feel bad for the guy. What a shame. But as is the case with many of these texts, I wish I knew more about the situation before passing my arbitrary judgment.

  • 96 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:52pm

    Now just wait a minute...maybe there was a reason she didn't want to explain. Maybe she was having her period. In which case you should be VERY thankful you didn't find out the hard way. GROSS! Theres always another night for hooking up, but that would scar you for life.

  • 88 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 11:27pm

    9:42 was that Mr. Burns? Bah! bah! bah! bah... Bah.....

  • 86 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 8:32pm

    I mean at least she is honest. That's a plus..right?

  • 88 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 9:18am

    7:53-- it's u or you. Not fucking yu. Dumbass. -.-

  • 92 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:40pm

    Sorry for that man. But that's why there is a beautifle thing called a strip club

  • 85 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 2:49am

    Aww poor guy :( -Will

  • 84 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 4:38pm

    9:28 There are thumbs down because it's a bad night. Thumbs up means good night, not that it's amusing.

  • 81 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 12, 10 at 4:26am

    Lol dude musta had no game. Or no dick. Either or both seem logical

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 11:08pm

    ppl need to SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT 'FML POSTS'. thanks.

  • 66 48
    Submitted by pizzagirl2011 on Apr 12, 11 at 11:57pm

    The semi-colon is correct, actually. I'm an English major.

  • 74 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 12:02am

    My penis must be bigger than yours

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 2:58am

    I use proper spelling and grammar in every text message I send. It's not just because I have an iPhone either. I did when I had a LG enV2 as well.

  • 88 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 9:42pm

    this just happened to me on tuesday... except no one left... and we hooked up all the way... and for the whole nite... ok so maybe it didnt happen at all...

  • 83 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 8:26pm

    Oh, that makes sense. Thanks 4:36

  • 82 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 3:09am

    Ya, I hate doing short hand. It pisses me off, I always use proper grammar.

  • 88 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:45pm

    fuckin owneddddddddd

  • 87 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:32pm

    maybe she had diarheaa

  • 79 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 11:55pm

    Jewish girls can't handle big dicks. Trust me.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 8:31pm

    Being gramattically correct in text msg's defeats the purpose. It is called SMS (short messaging service) for a reason. Keep It short! Fuck grammar just get the messege out -aus

  • 82 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:34pm

    7:29 Maby he waz a part of a txt

  • 80 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 12:13pm

    

  • 78 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 9:20am

    Jedi mind trick? Ha.

  • 82 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 8:29am

    Auto correct can be turned off on iPhone chump dog choker

  • 72 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 2:30am

    maybe she just wasn't a fan of sleeping in bunk beds

  • 76 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 11:41pm

    Shit ain't cool brah

  • 71 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:40pm

    No she wasn't 7:10 or the OP or urself would not have been trying to fuck her. Ur a loser.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:25pm

    OMFG!!!!.... I'm sorry for that

  • 72 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 9:34am

    This has decent grammar and shit bc the OP prob wanted to get it onto FML. And obviously didn't. Poor fucker.

  • 83 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 29, 09 at 9:35am

    This one never gets old.

  • 73 76
    Submitted by marsho on Jul 12, 10 at 12:39am

    Smack the bitch on her way out.

  • 61 53
    Submitted by lambright on Aug 26, 11 at 6:12pm

    She poop!

  • 73 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 9:33am

    She probably just got called up to be on jeopardy and had to leave for LA

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 10:05pm

    everyone already said it

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 8:29pm

    Your fault for not getting her drunk enough that she realized what a mistake she was making. Let that be a lesson to you: one more shot!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 8:01am

    2:55 Because porn is soooo realistic. Great advice, Dr. Phil!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:47pm

    That really is hilarious

  • 75 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 12:20pm

    

  • 75 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 11, 09 at 6:33am

    Wrong 8:30. Girls don't want to fuck guys that talk like 13 year old girls on msn.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 7:18pm

    OMFG!!!! Happened to my friend last weekend lolz

  • 76 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 9:19pm

    hahaha what a loser.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 2:18am

    Uh no he probably typed the text with an iPhone. It's hard to do short messging with auto correction on that punctuates and spell checks everything

  • 68 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 8, 09 at 1:18am

    Well, at least she was honest the second time around.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 7, 09 at 7:16am

    She was trying to get outta there cause the sex was bad....

  • 57 58
    Submitted by 0717Cole on Oct 26, 11 at 5:07pm

    L\n\n\n\n\nL

  • 72 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 11:52pm

    So what? Smart girl!

  • 77 99
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 11:00pm

    Yeah I agree, this is more of an fml post.

  • 73 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 9:30pm

    what kind of sick bastard would thumbs up this? a man was denied of getting jiggy with it and you think thats a good thing?

  • 71 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 7, 09 at 9:47am

    She later admitted she left because she had to take a dump

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 10:48pm

    dam you must be ugly

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 8:30pm

    Girls don't fuck guys that are always gramatically correct. Take the OP as an example.