Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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