I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
