I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
