So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
