...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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