Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

I haven't been laid since Bush was president.

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(315): View more from New York

I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him

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(910): View more from North Carolina

so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway

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(708): View more from Illinois

i dedicated my morning wood to you.

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29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.

(217): View more from Illinois

Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do

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(315): View more from New York

when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'

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(613): View more from Ontario

Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.

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