I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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