dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media