He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
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i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
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they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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