Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life