let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?