My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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