i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
