Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize