I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
