all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
