If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
