his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
