I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
