I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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