the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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