he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
