He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
