I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
