As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
