I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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