My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize