I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Mom said you looked used
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
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The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?