Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
