If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
She told me I should be a condom model.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.