Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
