We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
