i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
