even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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