What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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