All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
