I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
