Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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