i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
