Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
