I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
