Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
