fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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