You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You can't special order awesome
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
