So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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